Going With the Flow

       As I eye my May calendar, I can no longer ignore the date circled in red and the daily "X's". Yes, the last day of school is quickly upon me.  Now, I know some of you parents out there are chomping at the bits for your children's school year to be over.  You've designed an elaborate homecoming as your kids pile out of the mini-van celebrating the end of another successful school year.  You've specifically created a "Summer Bucket List" board on Pinterest.  Summer is going to be BIG FUN at your house and I am happy for your family.... Meanwhile at my house, I am double checking to see if I have refilled my Xanax prescription.
      It's not that I don't delight for my children that their summer break is here.  Sometimes being a kid is hard.  My kids work very hard during the year, and I am glad they get some time off to relax.  Lord, knows their teachers do! That being said, summer break is hard for me as a mother.  Rewind to a couple of years ago, when my oldest child had just completed kindergarten. My son was getting ready to enter school and my baby was a little less of a baby anymore.  It would be my first summer as full time stay at home mom, and we were going to have a rockin' summer.  I did all the activities I just made fun of in the first paragraph.  I got to school early to pick up my daughter, and before we even got out of the school parking lot she was in tears.
       "Jill, what's wrong?" I asked.
       "I am going to miss my teachers!" She replied.  She was so filled with emotion that I could barely understand her through the tears.  It was not exactly the response I expected for the start of all the festivities I had planned for us this summer.  Had she not seen our bucket list?  Sobbing over your teachers was not on my summer intinerary!  Eventually we did have some fun. But, it means checking this control freak's expectations at the door.

       I know everyone enjoys things more when there is no set agenda and no rigid timeline. On most days we all start the day just willing to go along with whatever comes our way.  It's these moments when I'm able to have interesting conversations with my kids that really bond us together as a family.  Sometimes we make it to the library's Summer Reading program, some weeks we don't.  Instead we just sit on pillows in the living room, splitting a bowl of cheese balls reading a great book.  Sometimes we have scripted playdates with friends, but most days we don't.  Rather, we go for an impromtu picnic on the parkway and stand in awe at what a beautiful world we're blessed to have.  Somewhere, along the way I heard a writer describe parenting as "a lot like waiting for the right time to step onto the down escalator." A-men.
      This summer I'm going to impose a "go with the flow" rule at our house.  The dishes may not get done and the laundry may have to wait- but making memories with my kids will be at the top of my to-do list.  And when school returns in August we may all say, "that was the best summer ever!"