Day One: Take a Walk & Smile!

     The first challenge was to take a 10-30 minute walk everday, and SMILE.  It has been established in multiple studies that being active benefits us mentally as well as physically. Research reported in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that walking 30 minutes a day boosted the moods in depressed patients faster than antidepressants. Why? Walking releases natural pain­killing end­or­phins to the body – one of the emotional benefits of exercise. A California State University, Long Beach, study showed that the more steps people took during the day, the better their moods were.
                                                         

     And it did! It probably was those beautiful endorphins firing, but it was also the inner teacher's pet, puffing her chest out with pride, saying- "I did something good for myself today. I walked today."  And that healthy behavior led to me making better health decisions in what I ate and how much t.v. I viewed.

    Tomorrow's challenge...sit in silence for 10 minutes a day.  I'm going to have to get up early for this one.
   

25-day Challenge: Tips for a Beautiful Life

  During a quick check of my Facebook this morning, I came across a post entitled, "25 Tips for a Beautiful Life." The facebook friend who shared it said she was going to print it out and put it on her refrigerator. I consider this person to be grounded, so I gave it a look and agreed that the suggestions were pretty good. I thought to myself,  if after 25 days of really trying to practice each of these tips daily, would I see my life differently?   Would I view my world differently?  If as the title suggested have a more beautiful life.  I am at a point in my life that I am sensing the passage of time very keenly.  I am approaching my 37th year.  I suppose if I have an average life span, I am at mid-life. At this mid-life point, I find myself asking am I spending it well?

  I love the quote by tennis great, Arthur Ashe who said, "You've got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing."

            You can either dip your foot in wondering if the water's just right or you can just jump in!

                                                              Let's go for it, shall we?

Day One:  Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

I'll report in later on today's experiment.

Enduring Patience

Geeze! It's been a while since I posted.  Sorry about that.  There has been a lot going on in my brain and around the house leading me to write this post on patience.  In fact two-thirds through writing this my computer froze up and I lost everything that I had written pre-freeze.  Ironic?

June was a month of decisions.  I decided to go back to work.  It was a tug-of-war decision in my heart and mind.  In my heart where my emotions lie, it was like a Jerry Springer-style episode entitled, "Working Mothers and the Children they Abandon vs. Stay at Home Mothers and the Children they Adore." Catchy, huh?  Ultimately, it was my rational thinking that won out encouraging me that sometimes the best and most loving act for my family is to leave them for at least a few hours a day to exercise my gifts and talents in service to others.

Off to find a job! Lo and behold I found what was essentially my old job! A job I loved and missed.  I jumped at the opportunity to pick up where I had left off.  I quickly applied for it.  The morning of my interview, I sat down with my coffee to read my daily devotion and what was it entitled, "Opportunity of Suffering".  This was not a good sign.  It should have been about God's goodness or his ever-presence, but not suffering.  Later that day, I interviewed then waited for a response. The response I received was not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed.  I was offered a position, but not the one I interviewed for.  This time I listened to my heart which knew the right thing to do was politefully refuse.  The position offered was not the correct use of my gifts and talents.  It would just be a job.

As I await the position that is the right fit, I'm practicing patience.  The Bible says patience is a fruit of the Spirit among Christians (Galatians 5:22).
Like a long distance runner, it is cultivated through endurance of our struggles. By responding with patience in these struggles, we grow our faith in Christ's power and purpose in our life. Always leaning on God, waiting, allowing him to create the perfect environment and circumstances for our lives. In our waiting, with enduring patience, we say to God, "I trust you to do as you see fit."

Going With the Flow

       As I eye my May calendar, I can no longer ignore the date circled in red and the daily "X's". Yes, the last day of school is quickly upon me.  Now, I know some of you parents out there are chomping at the bits for your children's school year to be over.  You've designed an elaborate homecoming as your kids pile out of the mini-van celebrating the end of another successful school year.  You've specifically created a "Summer Bucket List" board on Pinterest.  Summer is going to be BIG FUN at your house and I am happy for your family.... Meanwhile at my house, I am double checking to see if I have refilled my Xanax prescription.
      It's not that I don't delight for my children that their summer break is here.  Sometimes being a kid is hard.  My kids work very hard during the year, and I am glad they get some time off to relax.  Lord, knows their teachers do! That being said, summer break is hard for me as a mother.  Rewind to a couple of years ago, when my oldest child had just completed kindergarten. My son was getting ready to enter school and my baby was a little less of a baby anymore.  It would be my first summer as full time stay at home mom, and we were going to have a rockin' summer.  I did all the activities I just made fun of in the first paragraph.  I got to school early to pick up my daughter, and before we even got out of the school parking lot she was in tears.
       "Jill, what's wrong?" I asked.
       "I am going to miss my teachers!" She replied.  She was so filled with emotion that I could barely understand her through the tears.  It was not exactly the response I expected for the start of all the festivities I had planned for us this summer.  Had she not seen our bucket list?  Sobbing over your teachers was not on my summer intinerary!  Eventually we did have some fun. But, it means checking this control freak's expectations at the door.

       I know everyone enjoys things more when there is no set agenda and no rigid timeline. On most days we all start the day just willing to go along with whatever comes our way.  It's these moments when I'm able to have interesting conversations with my kids that really bond us together as a family.  Sometimes we make it to the library's Summer Reading program, some weeks we don't.  Instead we just sit on pillows in the living room, splitting a bowl of cheese balls reading a great book.  Sometimes we have scripted playdates with friends, but most days we don't.  Rather, we go for an impromtu picnic on the parkway and stand in awe at what a beautiful world we're blessed to have.  Somewhere, along the way I heard a writer describe parenting as "a lot like waiting for the right time to step onto the down escalator." A-men.
      This summer I'm going to impose a "go with the flow" rule at our house.  The dishes may not get done and the laundry may have to wait- but making memories with my kids will be at the top of my to-do list.  And when school returns in August we may all say, "that was the best summer ever!"
     

   

The Spring of My Discontent

   A week ago, my greatest nemisis began rearing it's ugly head again. I try to ignore her, but sometimes she's loud, obnoxious, and the harder I try to ignore her the more attention she demands.  Her name is discontentment, and I absolutely abhor her.  Discontentment has been a part of my life for a long time.  Does she visit you as well?  I can sense when she's around.  She sours my mood, changing my perspective on everything around me. Suddenly, I hate the color of my walls. I want to do something drastic to my hair. She makes my world seem ugly and small.  And worst of all, I feel like she laughs at me.  Making me feel that  I am powerless to change anything that could give me some relief.

   I was sitting on my front porch steps wishing that I had more opportunities to see beyond my narrow world. I thought about my Grandmother who was definitely a homebody.  She never had traveled much in her life, and was perfectly fine with that.  She was happiest in her home and garden than vacationing at the beach, in the mountains, or another state or country.  Although you'd never know it from my life's trajectory, I'm not entirely content staying put.  My dream is to see as much of the world as I can and take my family along for the ride. I would love to look at a map at the end of my life and see so many good memories from my travels.  

   Then the Boston Marathon bombings happened.  We all watched, as what should have been a celebration of the human spirit, turn bloody and chaotic.  As the authorities and media began piecing together the identities of the bomber we came to know, as Conrad knew, "the mind of man is capable of anything.” Like a switch flipping, all my longings seemed petty.  People were dealing with life and death decisions. While the surviving terrorist was (thankfully) captured, the five families were mourning the loss of their loved ones. Many survivors of the blasts were recovering from serious injuries such as amputations.  And those who thought they knew these young men sat in disbelief.

(AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

   It is my belief that God never causes bad things to happen. But he will use whatever he has at his disposal to teach us, and sometimes shake us.  That these "dark nights of our soul" can be used to deepen our faith.  I'm not sure I want my frenemy to go away completely. She moves me toward action. We can all use a little kick in the pants sometimes.

   

Saying "Yes" to Adonai

  It's been a little over a year since my Grandma Rumley passed away.  The inheritance of her home also meant the inheritance of her possessions. Six months after we laid her to rest, my older cousin took a bedroom suit of my grandparents for her eldest daughter's bedroom.  In emptying drawers, we discovered items that my grandparents probably inherited from their parents, and those items were stuffed in a drawer and now being unearthed by granddaughters.  In the drawer of a wardrobe were religiously themed signs and a surprising framed image of the Virgin Mary, entitled Sacred Heart of Mary. "This Catholic stuff," as my cousin put it was a surprising find coming from one of our Primitive Baptist great-grandparents.

   After we cleared the room out, and loaded my uncle's trailer with furniture I kept that picture.  I found it beautiful. Although I'm not sure the artist's rendering of her was all that accurate. At the time of Jesus' birth, she's a peasant girl no more than fifteen. I always have this image of her having long, dark wavy hair. Her skin is olive complected, and kind, chocolate brown eyes. Not at all this porcelaine skinned beauty, looking more like Josephine or Guinevere.  In the center of her chest is her pierced heart, The gospels recount the prophecy delivered to her at Jesus' presentation at the temple: that her heart would be pierced with a sword. She seemed luminescent and good and trustworthy.  

  Growing up in an evangelical home, we didn't talk a lot about Mary.  We dusted her nativity set figurine off at Christmas.  A little girl played her in the Christmas pageant. She was just another player in the Christmas story  amongst the shephards and cattle.  I've never heard a sermon on just Mary, but I have always loved her. After a lifetime of reading Luke's account of Mary's encounter with the angel, Gabriel, I am still amazed by Mary's faithfullness.  Unlike Moses, who made excuses about why God couldn't use someone like him with a speech impediment, or Jonah who did the opposite of everything God asked of him, this peasant girl was so surrendered to God that she allowed him to have complete control of her life, no matter what the consequences.

Henry Ossawa Tanner's  The Annunciation

   Mary's "yes" should be an example to all of us. As one with "control issues," it's hard to be surrendered to someone else.  I don't really like surprises.  I thrive on stability and calm.  I like order and a predictable schedule.  I tend to prefer a strict itinerary as opposed to going with the flow.  By allowing Christ to dwell in us, the old is gone and the new is born. Jehovah who has revealed himself to us wants to be our Adonai.  As Dr. Tony Evans says about this name of God (Adonai), "if you own the term you got to own the role....If God is the owner, you are not." Today, Catholics honor Mary's "yes" in the feast of the Annunciation of the Lord.  It is my prayer for my life to continue to allow God greater surrender of my life. Until oneday I have loosened the deathgrip I sometimes have for the plans of my life, and I can enjoy the peace that comes from walking faithfully with Him.

Being Present

Our Motley Crew

   The other night after the kids were in bed and I was winding down for the evening I had a moment of clarity.  Do you ever have those? Those times when a message comes through so loudly and clearly that it seems somewhat divine.  For me, it's usually evening or night when the rhythm of our house has slowed and is less chaotic. Call it the Holy Spirit, a guardian angel, intuition, or the 60 year old-wiser me speaking to the sometimes frazzled 36 year old self.  I don't know, I just know these messages get my attention. They're like manna in the wilderness.
  The message that came to me the other evening was related to really being present.  Being present has a new Age ring to it. In the Buddhist context, being present or being mindful often refers to becoming aware of the world around us while also understanding what is occuring in our internal world.  This awareness or mindfullness is often achieved through exercises in meditation.
   I'm not writing this to advocate Buddhism. Rather the need we all have in this loud, mean world we live in to turn down the volume. I grew up in a house where I always had access to television.  That didn't mean I was zoned out in front of it, but it was a comfort to me.  Like meatloaf and macaroni and cheese. When I grew up and lived alone, sometimes I just had it on in the background as a comfort.  The older I get, the more I seek quiet. In those quiet moments, sometimes we receive a message we need to hear.
   Be present.
   In these days when you can't even go to the bathroom without hearing, 'Ma-ma!" uttered ten times; or the endless laundry; or Happy Meal toys littering the living room, or whatever annoyance of parenthood you find yourself- Be present. Get off Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and play a game with your kids.  Turn off that edited version of someone else's reality, and have a conversation with your daughter or son before their lives get too busy to talk with mom. Be present.  Today, some women have a craft room and their spouse has a man cave. Leave your separate corners of the house and reconnect.  Be present.
  Somedays I feel like I'm just going through mindless motions of my daily routine of cleaning, cooking, waiting in a car line, and refilling glasses of juice and milk.  I take for granted how quickly this season of my life will change as my kids age. It won't be the big trip or the expensive toy they just have to have that will stand out in their minds, it will be the sweet (seemingly insignificant) moments in which we bond with and nuture one another.
   

Circle Art

As part of our continuing study of circles, we had fun making circle art today.  Keeping things simple, we used 3 colors- red, blue, and green. Quinn dipped the end of her toilet paper roll in paint and transferred the stamp to her paper.

      

            Making Circles

Success!

Spanish Color Matching Cards

    I was beginning to feel guilty that I wasn't providing Quinn with enough "structured" learning time.  Play is great and essential to learning, but I felt like I needed to insert a few minutes of purposeful instruction time. "Mommy"-school.  I thought we'd start with colors, and the circle shape.

   I printed the .pdf file for "Spanish Color and Matching Cards" by Homeschool Creations that I found through a search on Pinterest.  (A side note, I love Pinterest! It is a wonderful site that I allows me to collect ideas floating around the blogosphere. Things that are of interest to me and my family. Be warned, it's also incredibly addictive!)

                            Since young minds are like sponges, why not insert a little Spanish?

                                    Blue/Azul, Yellow/Amarillo, Verde/Green....You get the picture.

                                          She loved it! It's great to see her excited about learning.

                   
We are blessed to have great parks in our town.  This one is just down the road from our house.  It has a pond with a dock on the premises.  The calendar says spring, but it the thermometer is stuck in winter. Brrr!

  

I Work Owww-T!

    You've seen the late night infomercials. A muscular African-American fitness instructor telling the participants of his cardio class set in a gymnasium to dig deeper. Telling them to jump higher, go faster, push themselves further.  Then cut to the actual customers who have seen amazing results over the last 60 days.  You watch them as the do the DVDs in their home.  It's called Insanity. And because my husband and I were tired of just talking about what we should be doing, we bit the bullet and purchased the exercise program.
    Since I am still recovering from surgery to repair a fractured fibula, I'm modifying the heck out of it.  I do very little jumping.  I tried jumping during the first week, but after I took my shoe off after every workout my ankle was pretty sore and I just figured it was just too much.  The workouts are very plyometric making it tough on the joints. Although I'm not doing the powerful jumps, I'm pushing it as far as I can.
    Even if I could emulate Shaun T. with each step, exercise isn't enough. As impressive as the circuit training is, exercise is only part of the equation. Cleaning up your diet is step one. It's takes discipline to move from highly processed foods to whole, natural foods in the form of fruits, veggies, whole grains and lean protein. I am determined to avoid the path of diabetes and heart disease that I was previously heading down. As the Ann Wigmore quote states, "the food you eat can either be the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison." Developing discipline is challenging in this fast food world we live in.
    I will celebrate each step I'm taking in the right direction.
                                                                                           When I drink more water.
                                                                                For making a healthy choice in what I eat.
                                                                        When I kick myself off the couch and into a workout.
                                                                      In believing that I deserve to be the best me that I can be.

@ 2:25 a.m...

It's almost 2:25 a.m.
Sigh.
      Why am I awake? There's just so much going on in my mind. Maybe it's the endless to-do list, the possibility of starting an Etsy business, or the cup of coffee I had after 8 p.m. Whatever the culprit, my mind is turned on like the "Hot n' Now" light at a Krispy Kreme.  What I wouldn't give to close tired eyes and turn off my mind.
       I am reminded of  the first two verses of the 61st Psalm. "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." What solace we have from our heavenly father who is our rock. Rest assured we can cling to him in times of trouble.
       As I close my eyes, I claim this promise. I pray,  Lord, you know the concerns and anxieties running though my mind. I trust in you to calm my mind. Provide me the sleep that is so elusive to me now. May I receive the rest to accomplish the tasks of the coming day. A-men.